decorative grass

It’s that time of year when I make an honest attempt to have the outside of our house blend in with the national average standards of middle-class American homes. I spent $75 on green and purple grass to plant in pots and along the front side of the house.

here we are

We’ve been nursing one of our cats back to health this past week.  Basically that means we took her to the vet after a lump on her left shoulder turned out to be an abscess that burst into an open wound the size of a half-dollar.  The wound looked clean, but because it was so gooey and deep we took her in to get it looked at and treated by a professional.

The vet flushed the wound, gave her an antibiotic, and told us to keep her indoors. This is the time of year when flies and gnats start to come out, and they like to lay eggs in warm, moist places.  The point of keeping her inside is to keep her out of the way of the flies and gnats so she doesn’t end in a worse wound situation than she started out with.

The abscess rupture is filling in nicely and is now the size of about half a penny.  She’s been resting comfortably on the living room chair and continues all her normal cat activities of grooming, eating and drinking, and using the litter box regularly.  She tried at first to go outside but so far we’ve been able to keep her in with no incidents.

I feel like I’m about to get sucked up into summer.  The counselors have arrived and pretty soon the camping grounds will be packed with RV’s.  I never feel ready for this when it comes, and my abilities or desires to “embrace the crazy” seem to have taken a long vacation somewhere else.  So farewell, winter–I will and always miss you. The kids have been asking about going to Baskin Robins and for weeks now I’ve been thinking this would be the perfect time for Sister Tabitha to finally come home and take them.

It doesn’t even have to be Sister Tabitha who takes them.

It really, truly, could just be me.

 

 

the white oaks

There isn’t much to say when the rain comes around.  The greenery has already filled up the trees, and yesterday when we walked down the trail to the beach, it looked like the jungle had moved into the woods.  I don’t like the jungle the way I don’t like the fog.

There’s a sobriety inside of me that never goes away.  It makes things like talking about my yoga classes and cleaning up my room seem insignificant.  Some things in life are important enough to do, but not important or insignificant enough to write down.

Who do you love, really love, today, friends?

(This is where I tip my hat and keep walking)

Good day.

 

 

 

lack of motivation

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Every so often my mind gets stuck in a caveman mentality, where I look around the house and the sights do not separate and compute into individual tasks.  It all blurs together as I get out of bed, go to the bathroom, walk down the hall, and all I can see is,

“Ugh. Mess.”

It’s like in the movie Dr. Strange when Dr. Strange uses the time stone to create a time loop where over and over he is destined to die at the hand of Dormammu. Over and over he shows up and says, “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain” (or something like that).  Over and over Dormammu just kills him but Dr. Strange just keeps coming back saying, “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain”, until the villain is finally tired of killing.

There are people who can see the world, and others who can act upon it. My gift in life does not seem to be one of the acting sort.  I act because I have to, because people need me to, but not because I cannot help but act.  It seems though I cannot help but see.

I remember reading one time that the meaning of the word courage was “the will to act”.  I always thought of courage as having to do with bravery, fear, and doing something great in the face of overwhelming odds, that are, most likely, completely against you.  But when I think of courage as “the will to act” it makes me think of the word “discouraged”.

“WOW!”

So is discouragement then when you are missing “the will to act”, missing bravery, missing greatness, and missing courage?  And does en-couraged mean when you have gone from the state of missing the will to act to being the great possessor of courage?

As Christians we are told to encourage one another.  I’ve always thought it was kind of silly to read a mom blog that says something like “Mama, you are brave.” I appreciate encouragement, but flattery? Seriously.  What is brave about making people breakfast?

But it IS brave! And I can hardly believe this.

I’m shouting this to you across the internet, friends.

“In Christ we are the great possessors of courage!”

just stopping by

There hasn’t been a lot of time to write this week. In the past several days I’ve accumulated nearly 30 hours of paid work in the camp kitchen. I’m not gonna lie, it feels good to earn some money.  Part of my paycheck will go toward paying my older children who helped me. I totally believe in a helping hand without charge, but I also believe in showing tangible appreciation.  They worked hard for me and I’m paying them for it.

I say this about showing tangible appreciation, and yet, I am one of the worst people when it comes to observing the national appreciation holidays.  If no one gets me a Mother’s Day card, that’s fine, I wouldn’t have even known or remembered it was Mother’s Day. But that also means I’m not going to be the one to think about buying or sending a card.  The way things go, I usually get several surprise cards and gifts.

So last year I called my mom and grandma, and bought flowers for my other mom and grandmas close by.  Lord willing I’ll try to do the same again tomorrow.  We’ve got church, then dinner out, and then supper at my husband’s aunt’s house. Whatever your plans are for Mother’s Day, friends, I hope you find someone to appreciate this year.