simply human

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“My peace I give to you; My peace I leave with you.”
~John 14:27~

It’s been bugging me for weeks now.

My head has itched like a constant crazy and I’ve been scratching my head every few minutes trying to figure out why.

Hormonal imbalance?

Yeast overgrowth?

Weather changes?

But last night I took another look in the mirror and was so relieved to finally find a bug.  Since I made this discovery during the church’s quarterly voter’s meeting I was unable to follow my gut instinct to immediately drive to CVS and get a lice comb.  So instead I cut three inches off my own hair, found a few more bugs, and then continued on getting the kids ready for bed.  I knew the school principal was being “strongly encouraged” to resign this evening so the meeting was going to take a bit longer than normal.

“Be at peace.”

Those were my husband’s last words before he walked out the door.  I’ve cried bottles and bottles of tears over this.  I’ve been home for years through evenings and evenings, board after board meetings, watching two school principals resign after being strongly encouraged to do so.  We can’t figure out why a gifted administrator who loves God, loves our little town, and beyond a shadow of a doubt loves each and every child in our school wouldn’t instead be strongly encouraged to stay.

But I digress.

When Josh came home I drove to CVS to buy a lice comb.  I bypassed the lice shampoo after reading on the label not to use the product on animals.  I wasn’t even embarrassed to purchase the comb–I was just happy they had one.  When I got back the kids were all in bed.  He followed me into the bathroom and put in another two hours helping me comb through my hair for lice eggs.  After that we saturated my hair with coconut oil, wrapped it in a towel, and made plans to do it again the next night.

I was at peace.

But the next morning it hit me.  After everyone was out the door I broke down and cried.  I called my mom and told her.  This was, of course, nothing new under the sun.  Years ago, on at least two occasions, she’d stayed up late into the night picking lice out of my hair.   Now as an adult I cried because she wasn’t there to help me.  Because in simple human times like this, when I am crying because I have a head full of lice and a house full of beautiful babies, I DON’T KNOW WHO TO CALL.

“Beck, don’t let your heart go there”, she said, “to go to that place of being bitter because you have lice alone”

It’s my constant temptation and she’s not the only One who knows it.

We talked for a while longer and I hung up the phone in peace again.  About an hour later I called her back.  I wanted to tell her the good news.  I’d kept Elianna home from school, just in case, so I could check her hair as well.  Sure enough I found some more bugs.  I wasn’t alone.

And together we laughed and laughed.

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3 thoughts on “simply human

  1. Your writing is often like His parables. I finish reading, and have this nagging sense I am missing “the point” – and go back and ponder. And just like His parables – i find His meaning for me in your words. Your tell stories – and allow Him to show me what He desires I see in your stories.

    (and we call them “nits” over here – walking the walk of shame – how dare our children infect “their children” – clinging to but “nits love clean hair” without that being anywhere near enough)

    Your stories are courageous. Thank you.

    • Paul, thanks. I do often feel like I write in ‘parables’. Sometimes I intend to do that and other times it’s like I just start interpreting my own writing that way even if I was not intending it. It’s the way my mind works I guess. In this case, my husband’s words “Be at peace” combined with my mom’s words, “don’t let your heart go there” reminded me of Jesus’s words about not fearing or letting your hearts be troubled. I almost didn’t bother writing all this yesterday because I felt an extreme physical weakness/heaviness at the time I sat to begin. But by the time I was done it was like my body was strong again. I believed Jesus gave me rest.

  2. Love You, Beck! I love knowing that Mom has received at least 2 phone calls this week from crying daughters needing encouragement. The joy of being a mother never ends. 🙂

    It also reminded me of the time in high school I was clueless for weeks that I had lice. I had wondered why I was finding strange bugs squished between the pages of my school text books and on my face. It was a loving sister who while parting my semi-braided my hair asked, “Um, I think I see some lice.”

    “Oh no Christine- thats just dandruff. It’s been itching for weeks.”

    “Does dandruff have legs?” she said.

    When I asked my helpers to compare the lice population found in my hair to town/city populations (to know what we were dealing with)…they told me Chicago. :p

    Sending my love wishing I could be there, but glad you are not alone! 😉

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