conflict resolution

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Somewhere along the line I’ve heard getting married is easy but staying married is the hard part.

In my opinion the hardest part about marriage has been working through conflict.  We are simply not good at this.  We even have a hard time agreeing on how to word it.  He calls it disagreeing.  He even says it is good and healthy and okay to disagree.  But I don’t think of it like that.  And I don’t even like calling it that.

(It has also been explained to me that I overuse pronouns but I’m also having a hard time understanding what he means by this.)

The very word, “disagree”, sounds too much like dissonance, clashing, or tension.  At least that is how I see it.  I don’t want to disagree.  As a woman, I don’t want to be at odds with the man, my heart and my soul, the one with whom I share a house and a body.

I want peace and harmony.

But, and this is probably the most important part about it, in a marriage, yes, especially in a marriage, it cannot be about what I want.  The Lord is our gracious good Shepherd.  I shall not want peace and harmony and goodness and mercy and love and happiness .

Instead, I pursue them.  I follow after them.

And that means, above all, I walk the yielding path of love.

It means I agree to disagree.

 

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One thought on “conflict resolution

  1. I also hate to disagree… Were you the peacemaker in your house growing up? I was, and I think that has a lot to do with it. Unlearning old, potentially unhealthy, patterns. I don’t call it arguing or even disagreeing, though–I tell the kids, “daddy and I are having a discussion.” lol

    I used to avoid disagreements like the plague, hated when he was mad at me, would sweep the feelings under the cover of ignorance and try to pretend everything was fine, but I’ve realized over the years that love always perseveres. That working through conflict and disagreement is a must, not only because you’re two sinful people who inherently look at life differently, but because you’re a team. And when the team sticks together and perseveres, they come out stronger on the other side. That it’s not a me vs. him thing, but a how-can-we-become-stronger-as-us thing.

    I still don’t LIKE it–I don’t think I ever will–but I’m slowly learning to embrace the fruit that love brings. ❤

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