still here

DSC_1204“Why do we hear these messages, these stories every year but it does nothing? I go to church every week, more or less because its my job, but I hear about how Jesus forgives us, He makes us white as snow, He died for me. And yet I feel nothing from the people sitting around me. I feel no support, I feel no forgiveness, I feel like its not okay to be a crying mess when my life is falling apart.”

My husband recently connected me to a girl I used to know.

She’s a girl I used to know from camp, one of my campers.  We weren’t supposed to have favorites, but everyone always did, and she was one of mine.

I spent the morning reading through her blog.

There’s so much I want to respond to, so much I want to say to her.  Her honesty is so moving, and it makes me realize how far I’ve come from being honest.

Honesty has a way of scaring people off.

Acute pain has a way of spewing out uncontrolled.  As the pain subsides, is less intense, or goes away, as life lets up, there isn’t the need for such raw expression.

 You don’t forget what it was like though.

As life ebbs and flows, as seasons change and trials come and go, we continue to bear with one another love, offering a listening ear, a helping hand, and an open heart.

Reminding our loved ones that it’s going to be alright

And they aren’t alone.

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