the phone still rings at night, ripping me out of sleep’s safety

a camper threw up, he’s been crying all night, he’s homesick

the fight or flight has flooded my system, desperate to escape

I lie in bed, sick and scared, listening to the counselor’s voice

the man in my bed puts on his clothes, he’ll be down in a minute

I stand up, wide awake, the boy needs sheets and a clean pillow

dear Jesus, help the boy, watch over our daughter, calm me down

Don’t lock me out, he says.  I can’t help it, I say.  I’ll wait up, I say






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