into your hands

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In the three years since I began writing online, it has helped me heal and sort through so much, particularly as I have struggled in my adult life to adjust to the roles and responsibilities God has given to me.

Writing has helped me see with my own two eyes, how truly blessed I’ve been, and how blind I have been to my blessings at times.  It has helped me see and remember where I cried out to God and He answered me.

For this I will forever be grateful.

From this point on I will no longer be writing here about my marriage struggles.  I am closing the door to our bedroom.  There are certain things that belong only between me and God, between me and my husband.

I will choose instead, if I am to write about marriage, to write about the joys.  God has shown His faithfulness to me.  He has shown me even in the last six months how much He hears and knows who and where I am.

Because I am a person who feels everything so deeply, I easily surrender myself to my feelings, instead of bringing my feelings into submission, submitting them in, with, and under the protection of what God has spoken.

Because I am also stubborn and more stubborn, I have fought too hard for the idea that feelings matter.  Feelings matter.  I do not need to fight for this.  I also need not resist the idea that my feelings are to be reigned in and ruled.

My feelings are not who I am, and therefore, need not be what my writing often is.

Jesus is the boss of me.

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