school days

“The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin.”
~Proverbs 10:8~

During the school day they have my undivided attention.

It’s as undivided as you can get at least.  There are five of them, and that does mean, sometimes they have to wait til I have a chance to come around.  But the morning hours of 9-11:30 are solely dedicated to formal school time.   The switching of laundry, stripping pee sheets from the bed, finishing the dishes, playing on my phone–all of that will wait.

Sometimes I am pulled away to seek out a lost brother.  Most days include me having to  mediate a sibling dispute, which eventually leads to me having to apologize at least once and ask for everyone’s forgiveness for losing my patience.  Each day so far we usually manage to finish our math, our writing, our weather and sky observations, and story time.

The rest of it happens in the in-between times.  Maybe while they’re waiting for me to answer a question.  Maybe in the spontaneous discussion that breaks out between brother and sister over a game of dice and old maps.  Maybe in the opening Psalm, or the closing Proverb, or in the silent prayer I ask God when I notice my curtain hems came undone.

“Lord, what would you have me do now?”

Truth be told, I ask it more as a frustrated challenge than in a spirit of open surrender.  It didn’t matter how well our map lesson had gone that morning, the minute I saw those curtains, the ones I’d stayed up late into the night sewing for the first day’s grand debut, the minute I saw the work of my heart and soul twisted in a child’s play lump on the floor…

Each day I find myself at a crossroads.  Each day I am free to choose.  Grumble or Praise?  This has nothing to do with homeschooling.  This has nothing to do with motherhood.   This has to do with life on this twisted planet, the planet I just told the kids this morning was God’s gift to us, the earth full of His fullness.  No, this is about what God has been after all along, before any of the others came to be.

This has to do with my heart.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul, worship His Holy Name”

These are the words of our ending song, the song to close the day, before we head up the stairs for lunch.  I don’t need 10,000 reasons to sing or bless the Lord, I only need one.

His name is Jesus.

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