after the one

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There’s so much work to be done in a home.  If I were to wait to enjoy life until every dish was clean, every item of clothing washed and put away, every random belonging in its place, you get the idea, I’d never enjoy my life.  And that would be a great shame, because God has given me so many people, places, and things in my life to enjoy.

All that is but a walk in the park.  Housework isn’t what throws me off the most, it’s the part about being human alongside all the other humans.  There is joy to be found in the work of being human-and this has been my biggest work thus far–to find the joy.  Why I’ve had to look so hard, so long, so far, I don’t know.  Some of us are slower than others.

It’s hard to narrow down all the thoughts.  By the time I sit down to write, sometimes thoughts appear out of nowhere, barging their way to the front of the thought line.  “Wait a minute?  Where did you come from?”, I ask them.  “Why are you the ones to be talking first?”  You weren’t the ones waiting in line for hours and hours.  I yield.

This is what motherhood, and I suppose all of life, is proving to be.  You’ve got 33 percent personality.  We’re not all alike.  We’ve been given different gifts and temperments.  This is going to show up in how we live our day to day lives.  I’m not going to do things exactly the way she does things–and that’s more than just okay–it’s good.

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Then you’ve got 33 percent other people’s  influence.  We don’t live in a bubble, thank goodness.  We need the influence, wisdom, stories, guidance, and differences of others to keep us balanced, fed, nourished, and growing.   In addition to our weaknesses, we offer up our strengths for the building up of the body.  We learn from each other.

Then you’ve got about 33 percent up in air, as in, this is the stuff of life that just happens.  This is where we learn that even though we can grow in grace and knowledge and wisdom and stature, even though we grow as people, as mothers, as wives, as friends, by no means are we in control of our lives, not really.  Eventually this brings us great comfort.

That leaves one percent unaccounted for.   I haven’t yet mentioned God in the equation, but it seems quite wrong, criminal even, to have only one percent left for the Holy One.  I suppose though, if you think about it, God comes first whether we put Him there or not.  It’s one of those mysterious ways of His– all these things adding up to make a life.

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