(I’m continuing my responses to The Transformed Wife. I should note that I’m not actually responding directly TO her, but merely having her daily posts serve as writing prompts. Today she published a post titled Fornication is a Sin Against Your Own Body. )
“You’re not living together!”
When we sat down for our first pre-marital counseling session, the pastor was not shy in hiding his elation. He kissed us both on the tops of our heads, clapped and lifted up his hands to the heavens and thanked God that we, as a couple, were not living together.
Apparently this was an abnormal thing. He’d never asked us if we were living together. He just knew that we weren’t. He’d known us from camp, and when my hometown pastor had not been able to do our counseling or wedding, we turned to him.
Old enough to be our father, he wasn’t married, and also wasn’t shy about letting us know. As we paged through the results to our individual pre-marriage quizzes, he told us plainly, “I don’t know beans about marriage!” When we got to the section on sex, an act neither one of us had ever participated in either with each other or anybody else, the pastor assured us with a jolly and optimistic, “Don’t you worry! You’ll figure it out!”
(Note: For a very long time, I was mad about this, what felt like a blind “send-off”.)
I feel out of touch with our cultural realities.
I read this all the time: We live in a fill-in-the-blank culture. Today Lori’s post started with the words, “We live in a highly sexualized culture.” Okaaaaay–what does that mean? I feel like I am guilty of parroting lines like “We live in a _____ culture” without actually thinking about what this means or whether or not what’s being said is true.
Something I’ve heard repeated regarding our culture is the that feminism is trying to destroy the distinctions between men and women. We are living in a culture that promotes the idea that men and women are essentially the same. We are???
I don’t get out much. But last night I was sitting at the trading post talking to a 4th-6th grade camper. She was telling me about her friend Aiden. Aiden is a girl. She had another friend who told her that Aiden was a boy’s name. The camper corrected the friend by telling her, “There’s no such thing as a boy’s name or girl’s name.”
Hmmm, I thought. Maybe this is an example of what they’re talking about? Is this an example of our culture being taught the idea that men and women are the same? Is this what children are learning? That there’s no such thing as a boy’s name or a girl’s name?
I had no idea Taylor Swift wasn’t hot.
A couple of years ago, I was reading the comment section on an internet article. I don’t actually remember what the article was about, but there was a man who’d written out an entire paragraph in the comments explaining the difference between hot and not hot. Two words etched into stone–and into my mind–the non-hotness of Taylor Swift.
This was a first, and honestly, I can’t believe I hadn’t realized this before. I had no idea that the beautiful, talented, guitar-playing Taylor Swift didn’t have a body. To me she was beautiful. Her honest, innocent, story-telling song-lyrics made her even more so in my eyes. Last I had seen of her in the Love Story music video, she had arms, legs, a head and a torso. She seemed like the kind of girl I could see myself running around and being friends with in high school.
No way!!! I couldn’t believe it. This was the girl who–in one man’s opinion–was better than Taylor. I was completely shocked. I’d never liked Kaley Cuoco. The character I’d seen her play those couple of times on TV seemed so…mouthy and dumb. I actually feel like that’s a mean thing to say. I judged a woman solely by the character she had played on a stupid, Primetime television show.
(Kaley, I didn’t even know you. I’m sorry for judging you like that. Taylor–I didn’t really know you either, but I felt like I did, and I’m always going to love your songs, especially the early ones. I can see how things have changed with your music. You say the old Taylor is dead now. I know love hurts and changes us sometimes. Hang in there. Keep living. XOXOXO.)
Kaley Cuoco– she was HOT.
She was the one with the body.