I’ve been reading so much this winter I think it’s starting to drive me crazy. There comes this point where you can’t take in anymore words until you stop what you’re doing and get some out. I cannot just keep stuffing my head full of words with the assumption they can just stay up there for the next twenty or thirty years when I’m ready to access them.
I downloaded a book on my Kindle, (A)Typical Woman: Free, Whole, and Called in Christ by Abigail Dodds. I found Abigail’s writing through her articles on the blog Desiring God. I started reading her book this afternoon, and now, I’ve got that frustrated reader feeling. It’s that feeling you get when you come away frustrated but don’t exactly know why.
I’m actually getting tired of all the womanhood/feminine/manhood/masculinity talk, not because it doesn’t matter, but because my brain is maxing out–there’s just so much to be read. One thing Abigail talks about is how there is actually a lot of overlap in the Christian characteristics of our male and female natures. To think about being a woman apart from Christ, apart from your true identity as a Christian, is a dead end, a failure to see.
Is it weird to say, that the closer I feel to God, the less attached I feel to my identity as a woman? I’m less interested in what it means to be feminine, and more just contented and soothed and secure in my identity. The rogue sexual diversions disappear.
But it somehow, then, feels like I’ve lost something, some kind of passionate part of myself. And I wonder, “God, what is it? What is it now that you have given us to eat, this bread that is here, whole, and perfect to sustain us? How are we to love like Him?”
“I’m tired of the ’empire-bustin’ Jesus. I believe above all there was a magnetism to God’s great Son that drew people like flies, even children allowed themselves to be held in the crook of his arms. You watch children, they’ll hesitate if they sense fear. Whether it was tenderness, or gentleness, or kindness, I’m not sure. Of course, it’s quite possible it was love in its purest form, all the love that ever was and ever will be wrapped up in a beautiful brown-skinned middle Eastern man whose very voice caused men to drop what they were doing and run hard after him, and caused the very demons to high-tail it to the edges. Jesus busted empires, sure, no doubt. But I believe the main thing he did was walk the world he so loved, moved at every step by compassion, stirred in his bowels by the sheep who had no shepherd. Amen.”
~John Blase, Twitter (emphasis mine)