The boys are outside playing a game and my daughter is cuddled up reading a book. Typically by now we’ve got another month of school left before we break for summer. This year’s school has felt different. We haven’t spent nearly as much time in the school room this year, and school in 2019 has taken place mostly at the dining room table.
We barely went on any field trips this year and Sister Tabitha has been visiting her aunt in Europe for almost two years. She hasn’t written a single letter, made any surprise visits, or taken any of the children or cats through the drive-through for hot chocolate. I guess I’m acknowledging that in some ways I slacked. It’s not that we didn’t do school, we did. I just didn’t put the same effort and energy into being fun teacher-mom this year. I felt, in some ways, like my heart wasn’t totally in it. I don’t know where my heart was.
I knew this would happen, and it’s been happening gradually. School is looking less and less like school and more and more like living life. I am not completely against this, and in fact, living life is exactly how I want to be spending our days in these tender years of growing up. I just do not want the magic to fade. I do not want to stop putting my heart and my soul into the things and the people that mean and matter the most to me.
I told the kids we’d take a week or two off around Memorial Day, but then we’d continue on throughout the summer. The ones at camp during the week can do camp, but the ones who aren’t at camp can do school for a bit here and there while they’re home. We’ll continue taking tiny bites of math and keep on reading Dr. Suess and Fly High Fly Guy. Though I feel in many ways I could have done more, I am satisfied with the progress we’ve made in school this year. Another one is reading now. (!!!) Math is going well.
Monday after Easter, I drove up to my mom and dad’s house to help celebrate my mom’s 60th birthday. The kids stayed home with my husband, not because I didn’t want them all to come, but because it was going to be a quick trip there and back and I thought it would be better to make the trip alone. They ran errands with dad, went out to lunch, and watched Aquaman later that night. My husband texted me a picture of the kids in the evening. After they’d finished getting the boats out of storage they finally had their chance to test out their new swimming trunks, towels, and goggles from Grandma. I wasn’t even upset that they’d taken their first swim of the season without me. I felt proud.
(Way to go, kids, that’s the way!)