on becoming trees

The after-Christmas house is slowly coming back together. The bulk of the sifting and sorting falls to me, but after lunch I did exhort the kids to “go and make an improvement somewhere”. Yesterday one of the boys cleaned his side of the closet and straightened out his hangers. Today the two little boys put away the piles of laundry they’d folded.

My head space feels a bit scattered as of late, and really, scattered does not feel like the right word at all. Wide open is more the description I’d use. I have no interests that I’m currently pursuing. When I walk into the library, I browse my usual non-fiction corner, check out the bookshelf with the new releases, decide there is nothing I want then leave.

My Whole30 cookbook is a week overdue. It’s funny how different the librarians are. The one we know best and is there in the day doesn’t usually bring up the amount of my fines. I’m almost certain she’s even wiped them out several times, because $4-5+ fines have disappeared when I did not remember paying them. There’s another one who is nice as well, but she lets me know, and did let me know this last time that I owed $0.40.

The kids like to check out movies when we go. They’re currently finishing up The Silver Chair from an older Chronicles of Narnia BBC movie set. I approve the movies, but usually don’t watch them unless we’ve all planned to watch a movie together. Television time throughout their childhood has always been a time for me to get other things done.

Speaking of television, we’ve had some really great evenings the past week going over to my in-law’s house to watch the Jeopardy Greatest of All Time Tournament. Ken Jennings is the one I was rooting for, because he was the only one of the three that I remembered. I think we all drove away feeling sad it was over. I’m thankful for fun TV times like that.

Homeschooling continues to be a work and a joy. I will say that I definitely went into this underestimating the challenge of keeping up with multiple children, subjects, and grades. I kind of expected us to breeze through the basics, leaving plenty of time to explore all my books, do science experiments, and go on regular educational field trips.

We spend most of our time on the basics right now, and as I think of it, so do I. Being a mother has been a vocation of being immersed in the basics. It seemed for a while like the basics were something you were supposed to move beyond. A long time immersed in the basics can surely make one start to feel like there is no actual “movement” at all.

I think, instead, I’m actually living in a tree, or becoming like a tree. Trees do not move, in fact, they will stay in one place their entire lives. But they grow, and expand, and spread out, and every year their leaves are different. I love that now, I get to be a tree.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s