Let me point out the obvious good things. We live on over 225 acres of land, in a much bigger-than-it-looks-from-the-front sized house, and are surrounded by nature, which are all things I love.
So when I find myself feeling socially isolated–unfulfilled–as of late, I’m back to that place of wondering why. Articles all over the internet say that loneliness kills, and for a while I feel justified.
Isn’t this kind of what the monks used to do?
I know I’ve had warped views on what it means to serve God. I still believe in being spiritually trained and pruned, but not by the means of a self-imposed effacement. It is good to be a human.
So when is God calling for the actual death of me and when is He calling for the moving, breathing, heart-beating life of me? But now why ask myself? Why am I now asking the blank page and not Him?
God is there, and I think this is where I am going with this. Loneliness, deadly as it is, cannot kill me. It hasn’t killed me yet, and it this point, isn’t going to. Sufferings–ha!–are immortality’s shadows.
If only you could see the view, friends.
So much towers above me up there!