It’s a good thing I don’t write between the hours of 11PM and 3AM. It seems to be the time I’m most vulnerable to waking. It occurred to me recently that the thoughts that keep haunting me and stalking my sleep are actually needing to be dealt with, not ignored. In addition to rebuking dread and anxiety in Jesus’s name, I’ve started writing stuff out in my journal.
The oatmeal packets are still a thing, but on the weekends we have something different. The last time I was at Sam’s I picked up a 2-box case of Lucky Charms. I completely fall for the advertising there. I’ve always loved the colorful box, even though I’ve never really cared for the marshmallows. I always used to pick those out of my bowl. The kids enjoyed them.
In addition to getting creative in the kitchen, they’ve also been creating in front of the camera. It became a weekly tradition to watch John Krasinksky’s Some Good News on YouTube. They made their own episode.
Last night for supper we held an impromptu pizza by candlelight. This was my attempt to cheer a child who’d been seeming rather down. The boys surprised me by dressing up in shirts and ties, and didn’t surprise me by acting ridiculous and laughing at inside jokes the entire time. I eventually said, “Okay, let’s go around and everyone has to ask a question. Then we listen to everybody’s answers.” One of the boys asked, “What do you seek?” in a completely goofy manner. My answer was “togetherness”.
We are doing our piano lessons now over FaceTime. I was not initially thrilled with the arrangement, not wanting to mess with slow country internet and technological difficulties. But it’s actually been working out really well, and it gives the kids something to practice and work on.
Lately I find myself feeling a blah-ness. I don’t feel depressed, and it doesn’t feel heavy, but life just feels too *something* to be light. Sometimes we can change the emotions by actions, but sometimes the only way out is to feel them.
I pray you find what you’re looking for, friends.