fishers of men

“Only Christianity tells the truth regarding our human nature: we are sinful.”
~Brad Alles, Starting at the End~

Sometimes I’m brought low and say, “Lord, where are your followers?”

Where are the twelve guys who followed you around, the ones who left everything, their boats and their livelihoods, their families and their old sinful lives to come follow you?

Where are the women who came to your tomb? The ones who stood and watched from the side while you died, brought their children to you, who worshiped not the ground you walked on but worshiped YOU, who anointed your head and kissed your feet?

And what about the crowds. Lord? The 5,000, the 4,000. Where are the hillsides packed with people, the remote places so full that you refused to send them away without food?

I feel like I’ve spent most of my adult life having to unlearn and un-see everything that I saw, to learn how to hear everything that You said.


I feel like I’m in this place of having to be brutally, unashamedly honest with myself. I can be upset about a gazillion different things, but ultimately, what I am upset about does not matter. What matters is the truth, which is WHAT GOD SAYS, because only the truth can set us free from our prisons.

I’m sick of it, friends. I don’t want anything else besides Jesus and His word. I’m tired of trying to live on, be inspired by, and giving the benefit of the doubt to anyone other than Jesus Christ, the Resurrection and the Life.


All of this over a dwindling Sunday School program. It’s smaller this year, even smaller than last year, and smaller than the year before that and before that. We now have two classes, infants through fifth grade, and sixth grade through high school. It’s bugging me, friends, because it’s not what I wanted. I’m getting a little tired of the lonely Christian life theme.

I don’t want to be loveless, friends, I truly don’t, but our time on earth is relatively short, as in, “Man is like a breath, his days are like a passing shadow (Psalm 144:4).” This world isn’t ever going to be a better place, not now, not tomorrow, not until the Lord comes back, which praise the Lord, He truly will. Ain’t none of us got time to sit around and be discouraged.

The more time goes on, the more resolve that I feel. It’s not the resolve fueled by human will and ambition. That kind of resolve is so weak, so fragile, so profusely insufficient to meet the livelong day that it’s hardly even worth mentioning here. We need Jesus, friends, every single last one of us. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and everything to delight and rejoice in.

I don’t want to be loveless, so heartless and cold, but at some point I’m going to have to not care so much, to stop caring about and looking out on all the wrong things. People know where the church is, and at this point in time, that building with the cross on the top is still there for anyone. People are going to fall away, friends. People are going to walk away from the faith.

Hold on to us, Lord.

Return to me.


Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called Sons of God.

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

“Rejoice and be glad”, the Lord Jesus says.

“Blessed are the people whose God is the Lord.”

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